Why most people are stuck and can’t live the life they want

Most people feel trapped in a linear, predictable life, with no real upgrades or progress.

Finances stay tight, relationships repeat the same patterns, and work feels like more of the same.

Two big reasons keep us stuck like this:

  • We’re running on a faulty OS—our mind.
  • And we’re constantly chasing external fixes that don’t last.

1. The faulty OS that keeps us stuck

By default, most of us are running on a faulty Operating System (OS)—our mind.

This OS has been shaped by years of conditioning from parents, society, and everything around us.

It’s filled with limiting beliefs, fears, and negative thinking that keep us stuck in repetitive patterns.

You can’t have it all.
Life is unfair.
You have to struggle to succeed.
Love fades with time.
People never change.
Making money is hard.

These shitty beliefs are a few examples of the faulty programming we can have in the background.

These subconscious beliefs shape our identity and life choices, often without us even realizing it.

But it’s not just the beliefs—our minds constantly feed us negative thoughts, focusing on the past or worrying about the future.

This mental noise keeps us distracted, anxious, and unable to fully enjoy the present.

If we don’t take control of it, this OS—our mind—often works against us, not for us.

The problem: instead of upgrading our OS, most of us look for external fixes.

2. The illusion of chasing external fixes (that never last)

We live in a world obsessed with external fixes.

  • Have dry skin? Buy a cream.
  • Low energy? Try a supplement.
  • Unhappy at work? Switch jobs.
  • Sick? Take some meds.
  • Struggling with money? Work more hours.
  • Relationship not working? Switch partners.
  • Feel down? Binge-watch Netflix or social media.

These are the quick fixes most people go for.

But they barely scratch the surface.

They’re like placing a band-aid on a deep wound.

Society makes us believe that we need external things to improve our lives.

Buy the house, get the car, climb the ladder, gain the followers.

We’re told that these things will make us feel accomplished or fill the emptiness we feel inside.

But it doesn’t last.

You switch jobs and still feel unfulfilled.

You enter a new relationship, only to repeat the same patterns.

You work extra hours but still can’t seem to get ahead financially.

The problem isn’t out there—it’s within.

What is inner work?

Inner work is about upgrading your faulty OS into one that works for you instead of against you.

It means changing yourself from the inside instead of just relying on external fixes that don’t last.

It’s about clearing out conditioning and taking care of your thoughts, beliefs and emotions.

Here’s why: life is a mirror reflecting your inner world.

Everything in your life—your relationships, career, health, and finances—mirrors what’s happening inside your mind.

If your OS is filled with limiting beliefs and constant negativity, you’ll stay stuck, no matter how much you try to change things externally.

These 3 quotes perfectly illustrate the importance of inner work:

  • “If you correct your mind, the rest of your life will fall into place.” - Lao Tzu
  • “There’s nothing to conquer in this world apart from your own mind.” - Mooji
  • “You are today where your thoughts have brought you; you will be tomorrow where your thoughts take you.” - James Allen

Inner work create internal shifts that lead to positive changes in your outer life.

It involves practices like belief work, meditation, visualization and building self-awareness.

And sometimes, therapy or coaching can be essential for going deeper into inner work.

Engaging in a spiritual practice is crucial for self-discovery and personal growth, as it involves psychological and spiritual exploration of the self, ultimately leading to spiritual transformation.

Inner work is the highest ROI work to elevate yourself

Inner work is how you truly level up in life.

It’s what unlocks the big changes.

It’s how you go from level 1 to level 10, while most people spend 10 years+ to go from level 1 to level 1.2.

Without inner work, there’s no major upgrade—only small, temporary shifts.

“External progress requires internal growth.” - Justin C. Scott.

True progress requires mental shifts, and inner work is what brings these shifts.

To make big leaps—whether that’s increasing your income, improving relationships, or transforming your health—it all starts with what’s inside.

Take income as an example.

Let’s say you’re currently earning $2,000 per month and you want to make $30,000 per month.

For most people, that’s impossible.

They think earning $30k a month is out of reach, so they never aim for it.

Achieving this level of income isn’t just about finding a higher-paying job or hustling more.

It first requires changing your beliefs about what you’re capable of earning.

Related post: Cracking The Money Game: The Hidden Rules

Inner work helps you break through these mental limits, making big goals not only possible but achievable.

And the same goes for every area of life—relationships, health, and beyond.

People who succeed at getting what they want from life understand this.

That’s their secret.

They know that real, lasting change comes from within.

That’s why inner work is the highest-return investment you can make.

While external actions provide short-term satisfaction, inner work brings lasting growth and fulfillment.

Where to start the inner work?

Self-reflection and self awareness

A powerful starting point for inner work is self-reflection.

It’s about taking a moment to look at where you feel stuck or challenged in life.

Try asking yourself these questions:

  • Where do I struggle the most?
  • What part of my life frustrates me?
  • What do I need to work on to live fully?

These questions are similar but offer different angles, so pick the one that resonates most.

Answering them helps you see where to begin your inner work and what areas need the most attention.

Self-reflection builds self-awareness, which is essential for going deeper in your inner work.

Reading non fiction for inner work

Reading non fiction books is an important step of inner work.

For just a few dollars, we have access to the best advice available on any topic.

Nonfiction books can act like mini-therapy sessions and create powerful mental shifts.

Here's a list of great non fiction books focused on inner work I personally recommend.

Let's start with what I consider absolute masterpieces:

  • The Map of Consciousness Explained - David R Hawkins
  • The Power of Now - Eckhart Tolle
  • Awareness - Anthony De Mello

On the topic of money / wealth:

  • Secrets of the Millionaire Mind - T. Harv Eker
  • The Science of Getting Rich - Wallace D. Wattles
  • Money and the Law of Attraction - Esther and Jerry Hicks

On romantic relationships:

  • 8 Rules of Love - Jay Shetty
  • For men: The Way of the Superior Man - David Deida (don't judge the title)
  • Your Magnetic Heart: 10 Secrets of Attraction, Love and Fulfillment - Ruediger Schache
  • Attached - Amir Levine, Rachel Heller

On holistic health:

  • Becoming Supernatural - Dr. Joe Dispenza
  • Mind over Medicine: Scientific Proof That You Can Heal Yourself - Lissa Rankin, M.D
  • When The Body Says No - Dr. Gabor Maté

Belief work

The beliefs we hold shape our lives.

Simple as that.

They play a major role in our OS—our mind.

Beliefs define how far you go in every area: the money you earn, your health, your relationships—everything.

To unlock big changes, you need to work on removing beliefs that hold you back and replacing them with supportive ones.

Reading nonfiction helps for belief work, the two are closely linked.

Here’s how to start belief work:

  • Reflect on your beliefs to identify the ones that limit you.
  • Acknowledge that there might be more helpful beliefs. Find them.
  • Look for examples that challenge your limiting belief. If you find any, study them.
  • Learn from people who already hold the positive belief—through books, social media, or in person.
  • Use affirmations to reinforce your new belief.

Example: changing a belief about love

Let’s say I believe that love doesn’t last.

The first step is to reflect on this belief and recognize that it limits me.

Once I notice it as limiting, I can consider that maybe it isn’t true and get interested in the empowering version: that love can last, and can even grow over time.

Next, I ask myself: How can I shift from “love doesn’t last” to “love can grow and expand”?

  • Do I know any couples who have a lasting, expanding love? If I do, I’ll study them, talk to them.
  • I’m going to read non fiction books that show how love can deepen over time.
  • I’ll follow people on social media who demonstrate that lasting love exists and share advice on how to cultivate it.
  • Then, I start using affirmations like “Love grows over time” to reinforce this new belief.

This process works.

It’s a method that elite coaches use to help clients make real changes in their beliefs and mindset.

I’ve written a dedicated article on the topic: The Power of Belief: How Your Mindset Shapes Your World

Meditation

Meditation is one of the most powerful practices for taking control of your mind.

It helps you observe your thoughts instead of being controlled by them.

The more you meditate, the easier it becomes to notice negative thoughts and let them pass, rather than getting caught up in them.

It makes you realize you're not your thoughts. You're the awareness above the thinker.

This shift raises your consciousness, helping you feel calmer, more serene, and confident.

For the past two years, I’ve meditated for 15 minutes every morning.

It’s a short practice, but it’s been life-changing.

I plan to go longer, but even these 15 minutes have made a huge difference.

Steps further: therapy and coaching

Therapy is all about inner work, while coaching helps with both inner work and taking action.

Therapy lets you unpack the “backpack” of fears, trauma, and limiting beliefs. When therapy is effective, you start to see positive changes in your life. Think of it as mental hygiene—everyone can benefit from it.

Related post: Why Everyone Should Go To Therapy

Coaching, on the other hand, challenges you to work on your mindset and take action, helping you move steadily toward your goals.

Final word

Inner work isn’t just a tool. It’s essential for real change.

If you want to see major, lasting improvements in your life, inner work is what truly matters.

It’s what creates the shifts that lead to real upgrades—not just temporary fixes.

Without it, you’ll keep looking for answers outside yourself, never fully resolving what’s keeping you stuck.

But with inner work, you gain clarity, direction, and the ability to make meaningful changes in every area of life.

It’s the most powerful work you’ll ever do.