We are all meant to grow as a person
Think of a seed. Alone, it's small and insignificant.
But with time, water and sunlight, it fully transforms.
It breaks through the soil, reaching upwards, always hungry for more light.
Not because someone tells it to, but because that is its inherent nature.
Growth isn’t a possibility for the seed, it's an innate calling.
Humans are no different.
Like a seed is destined to become a towering tree or a vibrant flower, we are hardwired to learn, evolve, and mature.
Denying our innate calling to grow as humans is limiting our potential.
Growing is our true nature. That’s when we feel aligned with our true self.
Self-growth equals fulfillment.
Dive into growth and see how far you can go.
Modern society distracts us from personal growth
In today’s modern society, our attention is pulled to the outside.
Society pushes us to want more. A bigger home, a fancier car, a higher-paying job, more followers, more likes, more status.
This chase is what drives the economy.
And this chase of external things is considered "normal" by most people.
But here’s the truth: chasing external things doesn’t lead to self-growth.
Even worse, it takes us away from true growth and fulfillment.
You can get all the trophies and status in the world and still stagnate as a person.
True self-growth happens inside. It’s a chase within.
True self-growth requires reflection, unlearning, learning, experiencing.
Spending our lives playing the external game is a distraction.
And distraction is stagnation.
Working 9 to 5, endless Netflix, mindless scrolling, consuming stuff, seeking short term pleasures has became the norm today.
To grow as a person, you need to refuse this norm and search within yourself, not outside.
That’s where the real life-changing magic happens.
The 6-Step Action Plan To Grow As A Person In The Modern World
1. Take full responsibility and never settle in the victim position
That’s the essential foundation for personal growth. It’s mandatory.
Life events can put anyone in a victim position. We all have our victim moments.
But growth requires taking responsibility for our lives.
Nobody grows in a victim position. Victimization is stagnation.
Countless people stagnate because they stay in a victim position most of their lives.
Here are the major signs of being in a victim position:
- Blaming others or external factors for your problems
- Complaining about things, but not doing anything to improve
- Feeling like you have no control over what happens in your life
- Expecting the worst or viewing challenges as insurmountable
If you find yourself doing that, it's OK, we've all been there. But now, that's time to let go the victim role and start growing.
2. Choose your priority growth areas for exponential progress
“There is no favorable wind for the sailor who doesn’t know where to go” - Seneca
Growing as a person is vague.
To see significant results, you need focus.
Not prioritizing your most important growth area(s) leads to a slow and dispersed growth.
A slow and dispersed growth is still progress. But focusing your energy will bring you 10x better results.
Don’t multitask, especially on self-growth. Focus.
In what specific area(s) do you truly want to progress?
Here are some examples of areas in which you might want to grow:
- Feeling more aligned with yourself
- Becoming financially independent
- Improving your health / getting fit
- Launching a profitable business
- Increasing your concentration
- Increasing your mental clarity
- Improving your relationships
- Increasing your productivity
- Becoming more organized
- Feeling more confident
- Feeling more peaceful
- Loving yourself more
5 questions to ask yourself to prioritize your growth areas:
- What do I need to improve to be the person I want to be in 3 years?
- If I could only focus on one area for the next year, which would have the most significant impact on my life?
- Which areas would bring me the most joy or fulfillment?
- If I could improve one thing about my life right now, what would it be?
- In which area do I struggle the most?
The image below clearly illustrates the difference between multitasking and focusing on one area at a time:
3. Fuel your self-growth with selective content consumption [HUGE impact]
Realize that you become what you consume
To become the person you want to be, you have to consume food that fuels your growth.
Most people spend their precious time consuming random content without intention.
News, social media feeds, TV, radio, series, movies. People consume what brings them most dopamine. They’re driven by dopamine.
You don’t grow from consuming entertainment content.
You still don’t grow from consuming educative content without a clear intention.
There are billion things to learn in this world but you need to focus on what really matters for you.
You grow as a person by consuming quality educative content with the intention to learn on a specific area.
Let’s dive in.
Reduce your daily time spent on entertainment and pleasure
In today's modern world, the most vicious rival to our self-growth is entertainment and cheap dopamine.
Addictive social media feeds, streaming platforms with endless libraries, immersive video games, notifications, the news, TV shows… Our attention is constantly being hijacked.
Entertainment isn't inherently bad. It's an escape from our busy lives. But it's like sugar — delightful in small amounts but harmful in excess.
Spending too much time on entertainment takes us away from self-growth.
Again, distraction equals stagnation.
Every hour spent in passive consumption is an hour taken away from growing as a person.
Start by freeing one hour per day and dedicate it to your self-growth.
Everybody can find one hour per day.
If you were spending 2 hours per day entertaining yourself (social media, Netflix, video game or whatever), reduce that time to 1 hour and allocate the remaining hour to your personal growth.
Simple as that.
One single hour per day dedicated to your self-growth will make you much prouder of yourself when going to bed.
Educate yourself by consuming the top 1% content in your chosen area
Read the best non fiction books
Reading is one of the most game-changing activities to grow and rise above the average by-default life.
Smart people who succeed to live the life they want, are readers.
Unlike our ancestors, we have the incredible privilege of accessing centuries of accumulated wisdom and knowledge.
There are people on Earth who have worked relentlessly, braved struggles and sometimes even sacrificed their lives to teach their invaluable lessons in books.
We literally have access to the best advice available on any particular topic. For a handful of dollars.
I love this quote, from a friend of Noah Kagan: "There are million-dollar lessons hidden in $30 books."
Ignoring this treasure is missing an invaluable opportunity to grow as a person.
Your personal growth requires the best fuel. And one of the best fuels is non fiction books.
Here’s how I find the best non fiction books to fuel my self-growth
- I ask ChatGPT with the following prompt:
You’re a personal growth advisor and give the best book recommendations to help people grow as a person.
I’d like to improve [XYZ] in my life, what are the absolute best non fiction books I can read to improve [XYZ]?
Use everything you have to select the absolute best books: data, reviews, ratings, recommendations. Don't browse the web.
- I Google "best books on [XYZ]", "best books on [XYZ] reddit"
- I ask friends who are far more advanced than I am on the subject I'm interested in
4 great quotes I love on reading:
- If you haven’t read hundreds of books, you’re functionally illiterate. - Jim Mattis - This one is a bit violent, but that’s true.
- "A reader lives a thousand lives before he dies… The man who never reads lives only one." - George R.R. Martin
- "Once you learn to read, you will be forever free." - Frederick Douglass
- "Reading is to the mind what exercise is to the body." Joseph Addison
Reading is a shortcut to wisdom. Don't skip it.
Follow the 5 best creators on social media
Not everyone has mentors closeby. But here’s the good news: the Internet changes this.
With the internet, you can “surround” yourself with the best mentors on the planet, the top minds, the best advisors on any particular topic.
And you can now find many of them on social media. They’re out there, sharing gold.
Their posts are foods for your growth on the area you choose. Your growth lessons.
Build your social media following with people who help you elevate.
Here’s how I find mentors on social media
- I look for the authors of the books I found on Step A). I always look for authors first since they usually go deeper on their topic.
- I prompt ChatGPT with the following:
You’re a personal growth advisor and are the best to recommend the best authors and creators on social media for a particular growth area.
I’d like to improve [XYZ], what are the absolute best authors, creators, experts I can follow?
Use everything you have to select the absolute best creators and experts: number of books sold, reviews, views on Youtube, followers, ratings, recommendations. Don't browse the web.
- I ask friends who are far more advanced than I am on the subject I'm interested in
- I check the social media recommendations
Consume the best podcasts, audiobooks and videos
Podcasts, audiobooks and videos are also part of your growth menu.
From the authors and creators you found earlier, look for their podcasts, audiobooks and videos.
Even though it might seem repetitive alongside the books and social media content you're already absorbing, engaging with content across different formats will deepen your grasp of concepts, ideas, and symbols.
Here’s how I find the best podcasts, audiobooks and videos: I simply look for the authors of the books and social media creators I found earlier on YouTube and Spotify.
4. Self experiment: transform knowledge into action
Self-experimentation is the bridge between absorbing knowledge and truly living it.
It’s your personal lab, where theories meet reality.
Every piece of wisdom, idea or concept you come across (from Step 3), remains theoretical until you test it in real-life.
Learning books about mindfulness is beneficial. But it's when you start your own daily meditation or mindfulness practice that you’ll feel its true impact.
You've learned about the power of gratitude? Start a gratitude journal. Came across the benefits of intermittent fasting? Give it a go for a month.
It's the experiments we undertake that shape our understanding. They inject clarity.
By experimenting with what you learn, you solidify your knowledge and turn it into genuine personal growth.
5. Look for the lesson behind your major problems. That’s a game-changer
You cannot advance to a higher phase of life until you learn the lesson that the current phase is trying to teach you. - Dan Koe
Life doesn't throw problems at us. It throws lessons.
Many people see hard times as just that: hard times. They don’t look for the lesson behind tough events, they just wish it was over. But what if, instead, we paused and asked, "What can I learn from this?"
Break-ups, relationships problems, struggles at work, financial problems, diseases : they all indicate that something has to be changed on our end.
Life isn’t about avoiding struggles. It's about understanding the teaching behind.
By shifting how you see challenges, you turn them into stepping stones, not stumbling blocks. And with each step, you grow.
Related article: Life is a mirror reflecting our inner world.
6. Go to therapy
I’ve written a whole article on the reasons why everyone should go to therapy and all the benefits of therapy.
We all carry a 'backpack' filled with our past experiences, beliefs, and traumas. Some are light, others heavy, but they all shape who we are. You didn't choose the contents of your backpack, but you can decide to lighten it.
That's where therapy comes in.
Therapy is about taking responsibility for your life. It's not about finding fault in others; it's about understanding and changing yourself. It's a a major step towards self-improvement.
By understanding your past, you gain control over your present and future.
Knowing yourself is a gift that therapy offers. In our busy, connected world, it's easy to lose touch with our inner selves. Therapy provides a space to reconnect, to truly understand your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors.
And it's not just about mental health. Therapy positively impacts your overall well-being. Think of it as a holistic approach to health. It's about nurturing your mind, which in turn nurtures your body.
Your relationships can benefit too. Therapy helps you see patterns in how you relate to others. It's about building healthier connections, based on a deeper understanding of yourself and those around you.
Consider your career or business. Therapy can unlock new levels of self-awareness and confidence, contributing to your professional success. It helps break down internal barriers that might be holding you back.
Lastly, therapy can bring a sense of peace and energy. It's about shedding the unnecessary weight of past burdens. Each session can leave you feeling a bit lighter, a bit more alive.
Don't let excuses hold you back. Whether it's concerns about time, money, or the nature of your problems, remember that your well-being is worth the investment. Therapy isn't just for crises; it's a tool for anyone looking to live a more fulfilled, balanced life.
Consider giving it a try.
The benefits of pursuing personal development, whatever the critics can say
Personal development, self-growth, self-help (you name it) is often criticized for its clichés.
Even if some self-help methods are sometimes stereotyped, the core principle can't be challenged – growth is essential to human existence.
Humans are designed to grow and learn.
Here's a non exhaustive list of major benefits of pursuing self-growth:
- Better results and success overall: when you grow, you learn. When you learn, you get better at stuff. By getting better at stuff, you get better results. Simple as that. And this is huge as learning compounds. By allocating time to grow, you keep increasing your chance to achieve success on things that matter to you.
- More confidence: learning ideas, concepts, philosophies, skills or overcoming fears directly boost confidence. This added confidence improve all areas of our life, from social interactions to career or business opportunities.
- Better life satisfaction: pursuing self-growth aligns our actions with our values and goals. That leads to a deeper sense of fulfillment and daily life satisfaction. More positive feelings, etc.
- Healthier relationships: personal growth can improve your emotional intelligence, helping you build stronger, more meaningful relationships. You get better at understanding and communicating with others.
- Better mental health: pursuing self-growth often involves practices that reduce stress and anxiety, such as meditation, mindfulness, etc. This can lead to better mental health and a more balanced life.
- Financial Benefits: if you prioritize wealth and money as a growth area and work on it, you'll increase your financial results.
- Higher productivity: pursuing self-growth often leads to learning to increase your productivity. You build productive habits and become more efficient and effective in your tasks. This helps you many areas.
Final Word
Growing as a person is not an option, but an integral part of being human.
It's about discovering and aligning with our true selves.
In a world full of distractions, it's easy to lose sight of this inner calling. And lose touch with this innate growth mindset.
And while most people are chasing external things or status, it's important to remember that real self-growth happens from within, not from outside.
- Take full responsibility
- Choose your key growth areas
- Consume content that fuels your self improvement
- Self-experiment
- Look for the lesson behind life events
- Go to therapy
I loved writing this article as I’m passionate about growth and personal development. I’ve always looked for growth whether in business or for my personal life. And I have a looong way to go!
I'm deeply convinced that growing as a person is required to live a truly fulfilling life.
Growth and personal development is a continuous process, not a destination. Our potential is limitless.